My client keeps calling and messaging me. What do I do?

We've seen variations of this question come up so many times.

“My client calls me constantly.”

“They send me voice notes all day and expect an immediate response.”

“They call if I haven't replied to their WhatsApp.”

“I've tried putting boundaries in place, but they're ignoring them.”

One VA told us that her client was calling her constantly throughout the day.

At that point, you don't just have a slightly over-enthusiastic client. You have a way of working that isn't sustainable.

And while it's very easy for everyone to jump straight in with “you need better boundaries”, there's usually a bit more to sort out than that.

We've worked with clients who communicate a lot over the years, and sometimes the solution isn't simply telling them to stop contacting you.

You need to work out why it's happening, what they actually need from you, what you're prepared to offer and then put some proper structure around it.

Here's what we'd do.

Start with a clear conversation

Before deciding your client doesn't respect your boundaries, ask yourself a slightly uncomfortable question:

Have I actually communicated them clearly?

If you've always answered when they call, replied to WhatsApps within five minutes and listened to every voice note as soon as it lands, your client may genuinely think that's how you work.

So start there.

Explain clearly why constantly interrupting you actually affects the service you're able to give them.

You work with several clients, and when you're working on somebody's business, you need to be able to focus on that work properly.

If you're halfway through building an email automation, updating a CRM or working through a detailed piece of client work and your phone rings, you don't simply lose the five minutes you spend on the call.

You have to stop what you're doing, switch your attention to a completely different business and set of information, deal with the interruption and then get your head back into whatever you were doing before.

Do that repeatedly throughout the day and it becomes much harder to do focused, accurate work.

Things take longer. Details are easier to miss. Mistakes are more likely to happen.

And ultimately, that affects the quality of work you're able to deliver for the client who keeps interrupting you too.

It's also completely exhausting.

When your working day becomes a constant stream of calls, WhatsApps and voice notes that you feel you have to respond to immediately, you never really settle into anything.

Eventually, you can start dreading your working day because everything feels harder than it needs to.

There's also a practical issue around billing.

If you're working on Client A's account and Client B calls you, what happens to that time?

Client A shouldn't be paying while you're dealing with somebody else's business. But if you quickly answer the call, go back to what you were doing and forget to record those ten minutes against Client B, you've effectively worked for free.

Do that several times a day and both your time tracking and your billing become a mess.

Your client probably doesn't want you working on their business while simultaneously answering calls and WhatsApps from three other clients.

The same applies when you're working for somebody else.

So explain the impact. You're not putting communication boundaries in place to make life difficult for them. You're doing it so you can give each client your proper attention and do your best work.

Then be clear about the best way to contact you and when they can expect a response.

For example, you might agree that WhatsApp is your usual communication channel, but that you don't monitor it constantly throughout the day.

If something genuinely needs your attention urgently, ask them to mark the message URGENT so you can spot it.

But define what urgent actually means.

Because “Can you change this link before the email goes out in 20 minutes?” and “I've just had an idea for something we could do next month” aren't the same level of urgency.

Stop training people to expect an immediate response

This bit is really important because boundaries aren't only something you tell people about.

They're also reinforced by how you behave.

If a client sends you a WhatsApp and you reply immediately every single time, you're creating an expectation.

If they call and you always pick up, you're creating an expectation.

If they send a six-minute voice note while you're working on something else and you immediately stop, listen to it and respond, you're creating an expectation.

Then when you eventually decide you can't work like that anymore, it can feel to the client as though your service has suddenly changed.

You don't need to be permanently available to be a responsive VA.

You can turn off read receipts if seeing that you've read something creates an expectation that you'll immediately respond.

You can check messages at certain points during the day.

You can finish what you're working on before moving onto the next client's messages.

You can let a phone call ring and return it when you're available.

None of that makes you bad at customer service.

It means you're managing your working day.

Find out WHY they're contacting you so much

This is the bit that often gets missed.

If a client feels the need to contact you 10 times a day, why?

Rather than getting increasingly frustrated by the behaviour, look underneath it.

Do they have lots of little jobs they're remembering throughout the day?

Do they feel more comfortable talking things through verbally?

Are they worried things won't get done unless they check?

Do they need more visibility over what you're working on?

Is WhatsApp actually the wrong system for the amount of work you're managing together?

Would a project management system give them more confidence?

Would a regular catch-up call remove the need for half of those messages?

And it's also worth considering whether communication has started tipping over into micromanagement.

There's a difference between a client giving you the information you need to do your job and a client constantly checking what you're doing, when you're doing it, whether you've seen their message and when you're going to respond.

If they need continual reassurance that you're working, there may be a trust issue that needs addressing.

Perhaps they genuinely don't have enough visibility over what's happening and you can solve that with clearer updates or a better system.

But if you've given them visibility, you're delivering what you've agreed and they're still checking on you constantly, that's a different conversation.

A good VA/client relationship needs trust on both sides.

Your client needs to feel confident that you'll do what you've agreed to do.

And you need enough autonomy to actually get on and do it.

Sometimes a small change to the way you work together can completely change the relationship.

Give the communication some structure

We talk about systems a lot, but systems don't always mean complicated software and automations.

Sometimes the system is simply:

“We'll have a 15-minute call every morning at 9.30 to run through today's priorities.”

If your client loves talking things through and you don't mind doing that, brilliant.

A planned 15-minute conversation might be far less disruptive than 10 calls scattered throughout your day.

Or perhaps you agree that you'll work on their account between 1pm and 3pm each day, and that's when you'll review their messages and come back to them.

For another client, a weekly meeting and a shared task management system might work better.

There isn't one correct communication structure for every VA/client relationship.

The important thing is finding something that gives your client the level of communication they genuinely need without requiring you to spend your entire working day on standby.

Because if somebody genuinely needs you available to them for six hours a day, that's a different service.

And they need to pay for that level of availability.

Remember that communication is work

This is another big one.

Listening to a client's voice note is work.

Reading their messages is work.

Answering their questions is work.

A 15-minute phone call is work.

A “really quick call” five times a week adds up.

If you're billing hourly, that time should be tracked and billed, and if you're working on a retainer, the time spent on calls, messages and voice notes needs to be included within those retainer hours too.

Make sure your client understands that from the beginning.

And ideally, your contract should explain how communication, meetings and calls are treated.

Otherwise it's very easy to look at a ten-hour retainer and think you've worked ten hours when you've actually spent another three hours that month listening to voice notes, answering WhatsApps and having “quick” calls.

Pay attention to what it's doing to you

There's also a point where this stops being purely an operational problem.

If your phone goes and your immediate reaction is:

“Oh God. Not them again.”

Pay attention to that.

If you're starting to feel anxious when you see their name, avoiding opening WhatsApp or feeling resentful every time they contact you, the working relationship needs addressing.

Constant interruption takes energy.

And once resentment starts creeping into a client relationship, it can affect how you communicate, how you work and ultimately how you feel about your business.

That's why we wouldn't recommend silently putting up with it for six months and getting more and more annoyed.

Have the conversation early.

If you've agreed a boundary and they slip back, address it again

Changing an established way of working can take a little time.

Your client might agree to the new structure and then, three weeks later, start slipping back into old habits.

That doesn't necessarily mean you immediately need to terminate them.

Remind them what you agreed.

If they call unexpectedly, don't automatically answer.

If something comes through outside the agreed communication structure, deal with it in the way you've already said you will.

You need to hold your side of the boundary too.

But if you've clearly explained how you work, agreed a reasonable structure, reminded them when necessary and they continually ignore it, then you're dealing with something different.

Be prepared to say, “We can't work together like this”

This can be really difficult when you're self-employed because it's easy to become frightened of losing the income.

But you're running a business too.

And that's something we think VAs sometimes forget.

You're not an employee who has to make yourself available whenever a client decides they need you.

You're a business owner providing a service to another business.

That means you have a responsibility to protect your own energy, but you also have a responsibility to protect your business.

You have other clients relying on you.

If one client's constant interruptions are making you late with somebody else's work, causing you to make mistakes, affecting how responsive you are to your other clients or simply leaving you so drained that the quality of your work is suffering, that's putting your business at risk.

And potentially your reputation too.

Your other clients don't know that you've spent half the morning dealing with several phone calls from somebody else.

They only know that their deadline was missed or the standard of work wasn't what they expected.

That's why these situations need addressing quickly rather than hoping they'll eventually improve on their own.

If your client comes back and says:

“No, I need to be able to call you whenever I want and I expect you to answer.”

You have a decision to make.

Can you offer that service?

Do you want to offer that service?

And are they willing to pay appropriately for that level of access?

If the answer is no, you may simply not be the right VA for them.

That's okay.

It doesn't automatically make them a terrible client and it doesn't make you difficult or unhelpful.

Their expectations and your service aren't compatible.

And if they repeatedly refuse to respect something you've clearly agreed, you have to be confident enough to say:

This isn't working anymore.

Boundaries work best when they're built into the relationship

The best time to deal with all of this is before it becomes a problem.

And that starts as early as your discovery call.

When you're talking to a potential client, don't only find out what tasks they need help with. Talk about how they like to work and communicate too.

Then make your own ways of working clear.

Include them in your proposal so the client knows what to expect before they say yes.

Include the relevant terms in your contract.

And reinforce them again during onboarding.

What are your working hours?

What's your usual response time?

Where should they contact you?

Can they WhatsApp you?

Can they call without arranging it first?

What constitutes something urgent?

How are calls and messages billed?

When will you have regular meetings?

What happens if they need more access to you than their current package includes?

Put the relevant details in writing, but talk about them too.

Because boundaries hidden on page seven of a contract that nobody has discussed aren't particularly useful day to day.

And remember that a good working relationship shouldn't feel like you're constantly trying to defend yourself from your client.

You're looking for a way of working that gives them confidence that they're supported and gives you enough structure to actually do the work they're paying you to do.

Sometimes that's a weekly meeting.

Sometimes it's a project management system.

Sometimes it's a 15-minute daily call.

Sometimes it's simply not answering your phone every time it rings.

And occasionally, it's accepting that you and that client just aren't a good fit.

Most importantly, remember that you're running a business.

Protecting your energy and attention is essential. Your ability to focus, think clearly, manage your workload and deliver consistently is part of what your clients are paying you for.

You don't have to spend your working day jumping every time WhatsApp pings just to prove that you're a good VA.